Saturday, January 17, 2026

"Well you know my name is Simon"

Stephen Alexander, at his always interesting and insanely prolific blog Torpedo the Ark, brightens my day, at this ever more darkening time, with a post about three Simons of roughly the same age and with certain affinities: Armitage, Critchley, Reynolds. 

As I note in his comments section, it was a ridiculously common name for boys born from the late '50s to early '70s, such that you could throw a stone in my school playground and it would likely bounce off two or three "Simons".

Apparently this is no longer the case, as Stephen reveals: Simon has dropped out of the Top 500 names in the UK for newborns. 

But once upon a time it was a defining Britboy's name. And made even more so by its incredible rarity as a first name in America. So when Mike Myers wanted to show off his command of English idiom and accent with a Saturday Night Live sketch about a little British boy, there was really only one name that the character could have *.


"Draw-rings" - immaculate pronunciation!





"Don't look at my bum! I don't look at your bum! Bum-looker ! Cheeky monkey!"






Didn't realise the theme tune for the sketch is based on this 1974 cartoon series whose existence I have no recollection of... 




*  Actually, there's a probably a few other contender names: Toby. Gary...  


Update 1/19: Stephen Alexander with a Mary Shelley-like fantasy about "the Monstrous Creation of the Fourth Simon"




10 comments:

  1. Hi Simon. Big fan of your writing. I was wondering if your new book Still in A Dream will be available to purchase in America when it is published this June.

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    1. Yes - I think it might be coming out a month or two later though.

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    2. Thank you for this info Simon! I loved Rip It Up and Start Again. Listened to it on audiobook.

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  2. Just to mention the Simon electronic game which wiki tells me was launched in 1978 at Studio 54 - and it's still going. There was also a Simon fashion label in the 70s: my brother had one of their cheesecloth shirts. Simon Le Bon must be the mostest music Simon I would think.

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    Replies
    1. Ah didn't know any of those - well, apart from Simon Le Bon, who is about the same age as me.

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    2. Another famous pop Simon - Simon Cowell.

      And wasn't Sid Vicious's first name actually Simon - Simon John Ritchie?

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  3. Was the popularity of Simon Templar in The Saint another factor in the name being more common back then? Not as prevalent in Ireland but it wasn’t unusual either back then.
    Yeah that Simon game was huge around 1979/80. Think it was Christmas 1980 when I got one. Really nagged my parents and I remember MB Games had a shortage of them. Then there was the pocket version a bit later in 1981 which lads were able to bring into the school yard.
    https://youtu.be/i4xLF0fbYUo?feature=shared

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    1. Yes I think the Saint was a big factor. And a sort of booster dose came in the later Sixties when Simon Dee was this celebrity TV presenter with a "with it" Carnaby Street image.

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  4. The late Simon House (b. 1948) - violinist who appeared on the first two LPs I ever bought - Bowie's Lodger and Hawkwind's Astounding Sounds. Also on Japan's Tin Drum, I see. But Simons would generally appear to be thin on the ground musically - despite the 60s spike in popularity.

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    Replies
    1. Simon Nicol of Fairport Convention and Simon Gilbert of Suede come to mind. But not many more.

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